The Misty Blur of Memory

September 21, 2019 DWilbrink

…your only hope is to latch on to a memory…

The Misty Blur
By Ellen Berman

 

What is it about age that brings on a sense of desperation,

that suddenly time is rushing by so fast that you

just can’t grasp the moment before it swooshes ahead

to the next and the next, like relentless river rapids that you are

totally unprepared for, and you struggle to keep your head above the swells,

while all around you is the uncontrollable tumult of time,

of too many moments in too short an interval of space

surging forth, pressing forward so fast that you can barely catch your breath,

and every morning it’s as if you are gasping for air,

because in the moment of waking you awake to every moment you have ever lived,

a torrent that you heap upon your heart because

you want very instant of your existence to count so much,

to be so full of everything you always wanted to do in life,

every passion you wished to express

and every bit of love you yearned to share,

and you grab on to each instant, the next and the next,

hoping to slow down the pelting, to pull back time,

and to take back those moments that crackled with hurt and pain and lies,

for a do-over, until you realize that you are not that powerful,

you are not a god, and your only hope is to latch on to a memory

of your breezy, buoyant youth, when you did think you were a god,

and as you clutch it close you become resolute,

it is your lifeline keeping you afloat as you endure

another dusk fading into a watery mist of blurry stars.

c.2019 Ellen Berman. Used by permission.

Memory and age is a topic much on the mind, and the subject of much non-fiction. Now, the Best Book Ever Blog about writing memoir and family history is happy to introduce you to a poem about this, from Ellen Berman. She is a professional marketing and advertising copywriter, editor and erstwhile journalist whose articles have appeared in a variety of consumer, trade and business publications both regionally and nationally. Originally from Atlanta, Georgia, Ellen recently relocated to Nashville. This “tone poem” may be destined to be a part of a memoir that she is currently writing. Learn more about Ellen at The Spirited Writer.

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